Saturday, February 7, 2009
How to Photograph Your Dachshund!!
1. Remove film from box & load camera
2. Remove film box from your dachshund's mouth & throw in trash
3. Remove your dachshund from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle
4. Choose a suitable background for photo
5. Mount camera on tripod and focus
6. Find your dachshund & take dirty sock from mouth
7. Place your dachshund in pre-focused spot and return to camera
8. Forget about spot and crawl after your dachshund on your knees
9. Focus with one hand & fend off your dachshund with other hand
10. Get tissue & clean nose prints from lens
11. Take flash cube from your dachshund's mouth & throw in trash
12. Put cat outside & swab peroxide on the scratch on your dachshund's nose
13. Put magazines back on coffee table
14. Try to get your dachshund's attention by squeaking toy over your head.
15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage
16. Jump up in time to scoot your dachshund up & say, "No, outside! No, outside!"
17. Call spouse to clean up mess
18. Fix a drink
19. Sit back in lazyboy with drink & resolve to teach your dachshund to
"sit" and "stay" ............... first thing tomorrow!
.......author unknown (but obviously owns a dachshund!)