Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Rules For Owning a Dachshund

A. Rules Pertaining to leaving dachshund:
1. It shall be considered a pity if dachshund is left alone for five minutes.
2. It shall be deemed punishment if dachshund is left for thirty minutes.
3. It shall be considered abandonment if dachshund is left alone for an hour or more.

B. Rules Pertaining to Food:
1. Any food which falls is deemed property of the dachshund.
2. Any human consuming food must share food with dachshund.

C. Rules Pertaining to Toys:
1. Any toys within reach are deemed dachshund property.
2. All toys must remain in reach of dachshund at all times.

D. Rules Pertaining to Leashes:
1. When using leash, the dachshund is in charge at all times.
2. When in doubt, refer to Section D, Rule #1.

E. Rules pertaining to sleeping:
1. Daytime sleeping allowed on couch, or anywhere else for that matter.
2. Night time sleeping place is at the discretion of the dachshund.

Rules are non-negotiable & must be adhered to at all times.


Two French Bulldogs said...

Sounds familiar
Lily & Edward

Primroses Attic said...

Our Bailey would agree.

Sharon said...

Penny (red standard smooth 8 yrs old and principle prima dona), Rosie (red standard smooth 5 yrs old and resident fearless huntress), and Jack (black & tan standard smooth not-quite-a-year-yet resident entertainer and very unassuming handsome guy) would all add their paw prints of approval to your Rules. Around here, Rosie thinks she's the enforcer, but it's really Penny who benevolently rules, and Jack just does as he's told!

Oskar and Liesel said...

Penny, Rosie & Jake sound awesome, Sharon!! Oskar is our resident Head of Security! Liesel is still determining her duties...
Xena, our previous wire was Head of Housekeeping (she would "Hoover" the kitchen), and Schatzi our beloved black & tan (RIP) was our Diva....every family has one!