Tuesday, April 14, 2015
Rules For Owning a Dachshund
A. Rules Pertaining to leaving dachshund:
1. It shall be considered a pity if dachshund is left alone for five minutes.
2. It shall be deemed punishment if dachshund is left for thirty minutes.
3. It shall be considered abandonment if dachshund is left alone for an hour or more.
B. Rules Pertaining to Food:
1. Any food which falls is deemed property of the dachshund.
2. Any human consuming food must share food with dachshund.
C. Rules Pertaining to Toys:
1. Any toys within reach are deemed dachshund property.
2. All toys must remain in reach of dachshund at all times.
D. Rules Pertaining to Leashes:
1. When using leash, the dachshund is in charge at all times.
2. When in doubt, refer to Section D, Rule #1.
E. Rules pertaining to sleeping:
1. Daytime sleeping allowed on couch, or anywhere else for that matter.
2. Night time sleeping place is at the discretion of the dachshund.
Rules are non-negotiable & must be adhered to at all times.